PRESS RELEASE: The all new Fill In the Blanks Bible © is finally here
Get the Entire translation for the book of Genesis FREE
Press Release
Are you tired of reading all those boring commentaries?
Are you annoyed with Christians telling you to learn Greek and Hebrew?
Are you sick of reading all those clobber passage that make you feel uncomfortable?
Are you confused by all those culturally irrelevant moral codes and traditions?
Now with the brand new Fill in the Blanks Bible © you’re in charge!!! You can update the Bible to fit your lifestyle, your needs, your way!
No more waiting for translation committees to update the meaning for your personal context.
No more need to understand the language, context or history.
No more sifting through endless commentaries to learn what Christians who died centuries ago had to say.
Finally, with the brand new Fill in the Blank Bible © all your troubles are solved. Now you have the power to decide what the Bible says!!!
Our team of cultural artisans edited out all that stuff that doesn't affirm your experience! And the real good news is that this is finally a Bible is for everyone!
Theist?
Atheist?
Conservative?
Liberal?
Gay?
Straight?
Man?
Woman?
Gender of your choice?
Now with the Fill in the Blanks Bible © You create the content!!! This Bible meets everyone’s needs, affirms everyone’s beliefs, and let’s you follow your heart!
Translators’ Note
Throughout the text, our cultural artisans have include some helpful suggestions to help you fill in the blanks. But please don’t feel in any way limited or judged by these suggestions. We provide them only to inspire you to come up with even more creative answers that better suit your life choices, your values, your cultural context, and your needs.
You’ve deconstructed your faith and now with the Fill in the Blanks Bible © you finally have the power to deconstruct the Scripture!!!
One of the great feature of our new translation is that we’ve gone ahead and removed the longer, and let’s be honest boring, sections, or paraphrased them from the Greek and Hebrew for your convenience. Okay, we really didn’t consult these old languages since it really doesn’t matter, but it makes some people feel better if we add that part in.
Translation of Genesis 1-50
Now we’re confident you’re all excited for the ALL NEW Fill in the Blanks Bible © translation! For those who just cant wait for the publication, here’s our translation for the ENTIRE Book of Genesis.
Chapter 1
1–5
The following is a ______________ (true / fictional / mytho-history / really neat bedtime story) account of the ______________ (creation / evolution) of the world.
In the beginning ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) ______________ (created / helped the evolutionary cycle / observed) the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was ______________ (without shape and empty / a primordial soup), ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) said, “Let there be light.” And there was light! ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) saw that the light was ______________ (good / acceptable), and separated the light from the darkness. The light was called Day and the darkness Night. There was evening, and there was morning, marking the first ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time).
6–25
Over the next four ______________ (days / ages / eons / periods of time). lots of other cool stuff ______________ (was created / evolved) and it was ______________(good / acceptable).
26
Then ______________ (God / Aliens / nobody) said, “Let us make ______________ (Man / humans / earthlings) in our image, after our likeness, so they may ______________ (care for / dominate / destroy) the fish and the birds, cattle, and all the earth.”
27
______________ (God / Aliens / no one) ______________ (created / helped evolve / sat back and watched) the ______________(male / female / non-binary person). and ______________(male / female / non-binary person).
28–29
______________ (God / Aliens / no one) blessed them and said ______________(be fruitful and multiply / eat all the plants but don’t eat animals).
31
______________ (God / Aliens / no one) saw all that was______________ (made / evolved) – and it was ______________(very good / mostly good / acceptable / totally messed up)! There was evening, and there was morning, the sixth ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time).
Chapter 2
1–3
The heavens and the earth were completed with everything that was in them. By the seventh ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time) the world was finished, ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) blessed the seventh ______________ (day / age / eon / period of time) and made it ______________ (holy / the last day of the weekend).
4–25
______________ (God / Aliens / no one) planted an orchard in the east, in Eden; and the trees, animals and people lived in harmony.
Chapter 3
The ______________ (man / woman / non-binary person) ______________ (sinned / were oppressed by the system / realized God was really mean / invented fossil fuels and guns) and this corrupted the world.
Chapters 4–11
The __________ (man / woman / non-binary person) had sex with another _________ (man / woman / non-binary person) and there were children. Some were naughty and some were nice. Some of the bad ones built a tall building to _________________ (reach god / find their personal deity / destroy the environment). ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) decided to ______________ (punish them / love them anyway / abandon them). One of the nice people built a boat to _________________ (be safe from God’s judgement / commune with nature). The world was once again in harmony and lots more people were born.
Chapters 12–18
Abraham made a promise with ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) and became the ______________ (Father, Mother, non-gender specific parental figure) of ______________ (the Jewish faith / the Muslim faith / the Christian faith / many nations / none of the about because Abraham is just a myth).
Chapters 19–50
Two ______________ (angels / travelers from another planet / this whole story is dumb and should not be in here) came to earth and saw the ______________ (sexual sin / there is no limits on love so this entire story is terrible) of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot wanted to save the good people of the city, but ______________ (God / Aliens / no one) wanted to ______________(punish / kill / embrace the openness of the alternative lifestyles chosen by) everyone. Eventually only a few were saved. A lot more people were born and quite a few died in really bad ways.
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